Sex Slave or Slut?

A peacock is a bird of a different color … but still a bird.

During the course of My submissive training, men explore the different types of submissiveness and determine which type best defines their fetish(es). Not surprisingly, about 85% of men say “sex slave” or “slut”.

Both love sex and to serve sexually. So what is the difference between a sex slave and a slut?

Sexual slavery in a BDSM relationship refers to a submissive person consenting to a Dominant person (also called a slave Owner or the Master or Mistress) treating the submissive as their slave, i.e., their property. Sexual slavery in a BDSM context is a sexual fantasy or sexual roleplay. The slave Master or Mistress might be any person or group, though the majority of such relationships are usually either one Dominant, or a committed Dominant couple, owning one or more slaves. A sex slave and the Owner, and others involved in the relationship, can be of any gender, sexual identity, or orientation.

In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. Not all submissives are slaves, though all slaves would normally be considered submissive in the relationship.

Sexual slavery is a consensual exchange of power by the submissive to the Dominant, though the scope of the surrender may be limited and may be withdrawn at any time.

The types of activities that the sex slave may be expected to perform are usually defined in advance and sometimes spelled out in a slave contract – a document that outlines the desires, limits, and expectations of the parties. The sex slave is often expected to perform sexually, though typically many relationship-oriented dynamics are also clearly negotiated, including clothing, diet, speech restrictions, household affairs and schedules. Typically outlined are clear expectations of whether the couple will be monogamous or polyamorous, and if there would be permission or expectation of sexual interaction with other people. Otherwise, a sex slave may be expected to perform many of the same functions that are expected of a slave/submissive, including wearing very revealing clothes (or none at all), being shared, wearing a slave collar or leash, S&M activities, or bondage.

The duration of the slave relationship may vary from a few minutes, as in a scene, to a lifetime commitment. Depending on T/their contract, a sex slave may be traded by the Master, facilitated by sex club events, personals in BDSM interest magazines or internet-based social networks. Commonly, a slave is also said to be a collared slave, though not every slave wears a physical slave collar. Serious lifestyle enthusiasts register the slave in The Slave Register (www.slaveregister.com).

A slave who has satisfied the duration of the negotiated time of service is expected to be released, unless a new duration of service is negotiated. A slave may at any time withdraw consent to the relationship; effectively nullifying the slave relationship.

Slut is a slang term in the BDSM, polyamorous, and gay and bisexual communities. With BDSM, polyamorous, and non-monogamous people the term has been used as an expression of choice to openly have multiple partners, and revel in that choice: “a slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.” A slut is a person who has taken control of their sexuality and has sex with whomever they choose, regardless of religious or social pressures or conventions to conform to a straight-laced monogamous lifestyle committed to one partner for life. The term has been “taken back” to express the rejection of the concept that government, society, or religion may judge or control one’s personal liberties, and the right to control one’s own sexuality.

That said, a BDSM slut often enjoys humiliation – a Dominant who taunts the slut with typical societal stereotyping and guilt regarding their sexual openness and promiscuity. Generally, the agreement with a submissive slut is a more casual relationship than the formal slave arrangement, i.e., scene-oriented rather than life-style oriented.

Basically it comes down to push/pull. In essence, the sexual slave likes to be controlled and “forced” to perform sexually (pushed) and the slut likes to be humiliated for their wanton desire for sex (pulled back).