What About Love?

Are BDSM relationships all about Dominance/submission, humiliation and pain? Or can actual love exist in the relationship?

Too often, people envision the D/s relationship as weird, perverted or deviant. But what actions develop the emotion of love? Open and honest communication, trust and vulnerability and the sharing of deep emotions.

Within a BDSM relationship, communication and trust are paramount. Each communicate their needs, wants, and fantasies. Each clarifies what they want based on the other’s questions about it. A scene is envisioned and then one must give control to the other. In reality, both open themselves to being vulnerable.

Intense emotions often emerge, and each must rely on the other to recognize them, deal with them, and provide aftercare to nurture the raw feelings that come forward. Don’t fool yourselves. Aftercare, is just as important for the Dominant.

Everyone structures relationships according to their needs. So do strictly “play partner” BDSM relationships exist? Absolutely. Does love reside there? Maybe/maybe not. That structure is casual and may not involve deep feelings of love. But Master/slave, Dominant/submissive, Alpha/little, Daddy/babygirl, Mommy/son, etc. relationships that are 24/7 lifestyle relationships often DO involve deep feelings of love and commitment.

So don’t worry that engaging in a BDSM lifestyle means the end to true love. It just might be the beginning of the most loving relationship you have ever been in.